flashback: fifteen
[LSD, uncle Sid, vitamin L, mr. Natural...the gift that keeps on giving...]
...some say that i'm a dreamer cuz i talk about It often...
but i was head over heels for this girl. fifteen years old and shit...my youthful mind told me the best way to impress the dame was to sing songs outside her window.
fuck you for laughing.
i took my guitar and caught the H8 across town to her house. it was a little before three in the morning, as i recall, and there were no lights on. i walked along the fence to the back of the house and found her window. now, my musical vocabulary was limited at that point...the bulk of my repertoire consisted of gg allin tunes and maybe a few ramones and misfits songs. but none of those were really fitting for the occasion, so i figured bob marley's 'stir it up' would be just about right.
i started strumming the chords and singin' the song to the moon...it was like poetry, man, i'm tellin' you. a light flicked on downstairs and i was like "Yeah," kept singing, thinkin' i was definitely gettin' in those panties TONIGHT!
the back door opens...i see these two black outlines, real low to the ground, and i stop playing...wondering what the fuck?...the screen door opens and the outlines, they come slowly down the steps...they're like two rottweilers or something dangerous...crocodiles maybe, i don't know...
they see me and start running, barking...i swing the guitar and the lead dog lunges, bites the neck of it and the body of the guitar hits the ground. the second dog stomps on it and it shatters in a thousand splinters. i jump for the top of the wire fence and the lead dog bites my shoe and pulls me back down a bit. dog #2 nips my ass and i start screaming, kicking my legs, cryin' and shit. i fling my legs over top of the fence and i'm heading down the other side, right, when my shirt sleeve gets caught on the top of the fence...so now i'm fuckin' hangin' there and somebody's at the girl's house yellin' back inside for someone to "call the goddamm Police."
and me, i'm fuckin' stuck on the fence and the dogs can't get to me, and unless the police are driving by the street at that fuckin' instant, i figure i have about at least seven minutes to spare before they arrive...so i just look at the scene...and as i'm trying to get my shirt unhooked, the light goes on in the Girl's room like sunshine and she comes to the window and looks down and my shirt rips and i fall into some garbage cans. i get up and start to run away, but i get caught up in thought and i look back to see if she's still there, and she is, and i run headlong into a jagger bush and then fall down some cement stairs.
i was all bruised and bloody the next day when i saw her.
she wanted to know if i knew how to play guitar and i told her not really.
...some say that i'm a dreamer cuz i talk about It often...
but i was head over heels for this girl. fifteen years old and shit...my youthful mind told me the best way to impress the dame was to sing songs outside her window.
fuck you for laughing.
i took my guitar and caught the H8 across town to her house. it was a little before three in the morning, as i recall, and there were no lights on. i walked along the fence to the back of the house and found her window. now, my musical vocabulary was limited at that point...the bulk of my repertoire consisted of gg allin tunes and maybe a few ramones and misfits songs. but none of those were really fitting for the occasion, so i figured bob marley's 'stir it up' would be just about right.
i started strumming the chords and singin' the song to the moon...it was like poetry, man, i'm tellin' you. a light flicked on downstairs and i was like "Yeah," kept singing, thinkin' i was definitely gettin' in those panties TONIGHT!
the back door opens...i see these two black outlines, real low to the ground, and i stop playing...wondering what the fuck?...the screen door opens and the outlines, they come slowly down the steps...they're like two rottweilers or something dangerous...crocodiles maybe, i don't know...
they see me and start running, barking...i swing the guitar and the lead dog lunges, bites the neck of it and the body of the guitar hits the ground. the second dog stomps on it and it shatters in a thousand splinters. i jump for the top of the wire fence and the lead dog bites my shoe and pulls me back down a bit. dog #2 nips my ass and i start screaming, kicking my legs, cryin' and shit. i fling my legs over top of the fence and i'm heading down the other side, right, when my shirt sleeve gets caught on the top of the fence...so now i'm fuckin' hangin' there and somebody's at the girl's house yellin' back inside for someone to "call the goddamm Police."
and me, i'm fuckin' stuck on the fence and the dogs can't get to me, and unless the police are driving by the street at that fuckin' instant, i figure i have about at least seven minutes to spare before they arrive...so i just look at the scene...and as i'm trying to get my shirt unhooked, the light goes on in the Girl's room like sunshine and she comes to the window and looks down and my shirt rips and i fall into some garbage cans. i get up and start to run away, but i get caught up in thought and i look back to see if she's still there, and she is, and i run headlong into a jagger bush and then fall down some cement stairs.
i was all bruised and bloody the next day when i saw her.
she wanted to know if i knew how to play guitar and i told her not really.
Johnny St. Clair wuz here at 11:58 PM
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ahhh...i love it when the buttholes bloom around this time of year.
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