professionalism - episode #3

some may argue that the equipment in my place of employment is sub-standard. they could be right, but i believe it is for all the wrong reasons.

the copy machine on our floor frequently jams. the other employees blame it on shoddy equipment and management’s determination to cut costs. early yesterday, however, i stumbled upon the doktor overseeing one of the interns – young, female – attempting to clear the bits of paper from the machine. he kept directing her to area G69, a particularly hard to reach spot that required her to get on all fours and root around for a mysterious and utterly elusive paper scrap.

“what are you doing?”

“oh, hi!” she said as she turned a smile over her shoulder.

“ahhh…good morning, mr. st. clair. allow me to introduce you to our new intern, ms., uh…”

“yeah…hey there…we already met. you really don’t need to be on the floor like that. if this one had any couth, he would have fixed the machine for you…”

“nonsense…this is a valuable skill she is learning,” he intoned as he pointed at her ass, stuck his tongue out.

“wow…it’s really hot down here…”

“you’re tellin’ me.”

“ouch! i burned my hand!”

“it’s gonna need some time to cool down,” i said, “come on up from down there…maybe you should pour a bottle of water on it,” i said with a laugh. i’m real witty like that.

“that’s funny,” she said.

yeah…a real fucking riot…

“don’t be foolish…there’s no water up here,” the doktor said. “well…the next best thing…” he muttered and unzipped his pants and began to urinate on the insides of the copy machine.

“sweet mother of creeping jesus!”

“ewwwwwww!” she shrieked, clamoring to her feet on crooked high heels, struggling to straighten her skirt, no doubt feeling the flecks of pee on bare forearms.

“shit…don't ask me to kiss you now, baby…you smell like piss.”