ol' dirty bastard: american icon
ol' dirty bastard is gone but he was never truly here to begin with.
so if you see mourners taking to the streets by the hundreds...thousands, even...allow them a moment of sorrow. the artist - variously known as ol' dirty bastard, o.d.b., dirt, dirt dog, dirt mcgirt, osiris, big baby jesus [for the kids, man], and ol' dirty chinese restaurant - passed away on saturday doing what he did the craziest: music.
don't belive me? check this out:
- my name black / do words wanna play in my dirt? / bitch stop my momma serve / free lunch from the church
what the fuck?
wu-tang toured with rage against the machine in like '97 or '98 and although i caught the show, dirt dog was nowhere to be found. i was so far back that i couldn't see who the fuck was on stage anyway, but someone else was doing his parts, and it wasn't dirt. i could tell. that boy dirt...he had talent. definite buzzkill. the place was absolutely seething with violence that night as i recall...madness at every turn...you could strike sparks in any direction. but since dirt was absent, i couldn't be moved. i was so sad.
- unglove the news / watch a nigga transfuse / dirty add to the fuse / heavy at the booze
not long after i got that first tape, i saw him on the television. he had his baby mama, plenty of kids, a limo, and his welfare i.d. card. they all got into the limo, went to the welfare office, and got the food stamps that he said he would get. while the cameras rolled. yeah. now you know why that bitch was singing about having his money. she knew better...cuz if she didn't, she was gettin' choked.
- i don't walk i get carried / gold and platinum frisbees on my wall / lookin properly but come-ly / i U.F.O. you wright brothers
dirt was a new kind of modern day johnny appleseed, spreading his love [and seed] all around the country, fathering dozens of children in the process. it is my sincerest hope that this second generation of bastards can meet and dare to exceed the standards which their ol' dirty father invented. he sold america every crazy kid i knew in grade school: the ones who would liberally use the 'fuck' word in the principal's face, the ones who sold their free lunch tickets for a quarter, the ones who taught me to roll joints with notebook paper and pencil shavings, the ones who were taken out in shackles in eighth-grade, who sewed their own cuts with needle and thread, who didn't wash their ass, brush their teeth, comb their hair. the ones with a double digit i.q. ahhh, public education...
- the indian that sold manhattan to the white man / my grandfather / step up and get knocked right the fuck out / come to the cook-out / dirty bitch / at the mouth
so i bid you adieu, dirty...you were one of a kind and for that we should be thankful.
Johnny St. Clair wuz here at 1:55 AM
5 Comments:
so anyways the other day i rang up satan and i go, "beelzelbub, baby, how's the hellfire? what's the good hate, potentate?"
and he says [in a real scary voice], "johnny, it is your solemn duty to recruit the youth of america for my legions of darkness. and for your efforts, you'll be seated at my left-hand, the goat of mendes at my right. you've been a bad boy, johnny."
"damm straight sugardaddy lucifer, i be ridin' hot rails!"
~ johnny 667
[cuz that's one more than total evil]
I'm with you on that degenerate, mangled excuse of a human being whose seeds are taking my monies away from me.
Or would be if I worked and paid taxes. Nevertheless, I'm still outraged at his professed pimpedness and derilection of parental duties.
"Sheeeee. I take care my kids." "NIGGA! THATS WHAT YOU SUPPOSED TO DO!"
But the real reason I'm writing this is that apparently your spell check fucked up cuz its comb, not come. The secrets out. See? You're as dumb as me. Try using your own spelling instead of a computers...
Well, on second thought. Maybe YOU come on your comb, but thats not really the point now, is it?
Ciao,
col. dr. WJ ret(arded)
check out the big brain on the doktor! good catch...your mama always said you could 'read well' and she sure did care about your education.
retired is a deadly misnomer, although retarded is certainly more fitting. i suggest you clarify your position, fire up the lab and get busy with those rats...remember, whatever passes their muster is next in line on my plate.
and furthermore, i am saddened that you fail to credit dirt dog for what i believe is the earliest reference to slapping meat on a bitch's grill. credit where credit is due, please. have we degenerated to the level of common animals?
~ johnny rotten bastard
No, no! You misunderread me. I am completely aware of the profoundness of our loss. Lest we degenerate to the level of dumb beasts...is there no communication on this site...sweet fuck the vibrations are getting nasty. Allow me to explain my position. I am saddened that there will be no more ODB. I give props to BBJ. And sweet merciful shit! 1st reference to slappin meat on someones grill? He should have his own wing at Websters. Or Funk and Wagnells. He will be missed. But for the amount of money I should be payin to raise his kids so that they can procreate at the ripe ol age of 13, I could buy me a crack rock that'll last me...
HOURS!
So fuck him.
I gots to get loaded.
Hey ya'll
Leve the Forest Gump jokes outta this. Dont mak me come daun 'ar.
Dick Trickle
Post a Comment
<< Home