for fuck's sake man, i hope you're right
[this was sent psychically over the mojo wire...i am desperate with fear]
George McGovern called Saturday night from New Orleans and said he was ready to rumble.
"This is it, Hunter. This is the day we've been waiting for all our lives," he cackled. "Nixon was nothing compared to these bastards. This is the most important election of my lifetime, including my own race."
"What do you think is going to happen on Tuesday?"
"I think Kerry will win," I answered.
"Yes, I think so, too. He is about the greatest thing since God created you and me," he laughed. His voice became serious then, and he said, "I think he is a good guy."
"Yes, I think he will be a good president," I said.
"So do I," he answered.
"By the way," I said, "Tell Eleanor that I still have a crush on her."
"That's good. I'll tell her that on Sunday, which is our 61st wedding anniversary. We got married on Halloween."
I could tell he was smiling over the phone. "Eleanor is still trying to figure out if it was a trick or a treat," he said.
*****
It is now Tuesday, and John Kerry is looking good today, while George Bush is looking a little desperate. His eyes are wild and his voice is shrill and he is acting more and more like a doomed animal on its way to the meat-grinder. Young George is about to lose his first election.
JFK will win this one decisively enough to make any recounts or challenges irrelevant. If Kerry wins New Hampshire and Pennsylvania and Florida, for instance, this election will be over before it really gets started.
Kerry will win big today. I guarantee it. The evil Bush family of central Texas is about to suffer another humiliating failure on another disastrous election day.
And I knew it Sunday after returning from Los Angeles, where I had been campaigning for Kerry, my friend. Football and politics were never so fatally linked as they were when the Washington Redskins lost to the Green Bay Packers that day. It was all over after that.
The sun has come up over the Rockies and the time has come to drive into town and vote aggressively for my man, who will win this election handily. And the Democrats will regain control of both houses of Congress. That is all I know right now, and all I need to know.
When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. We will march on a road of bones.
Mahalo.
Hunter S. Thompson
George McGovern called Saturday night from New Orleans and said he was ready to rumble.
"This is it, Hunter. This is the day we've been waiting for all our lives," he cackled. "Nixon was nothing compared to these bastards. This is the most important election of my lifetime, including my own race."
"What do you think is going to happen on Tuesday?"
"I think Kerry will win," I answered.
"Yes, I think so, too. He is about the greatest thing since God created you and me," he laughed. His voice became serious then, and he said, "I think he is a good guy."
"Yes, I think he will be a good president," I said.
"So do I," he answered.
"By the way," I said, "Tell Eleanor that I still have a crush on her."
"That's good. I'll tell her that on Sunday, which is our 61st wedding anniversary. We got married on Halloween."
I could tell he was smiling over the phone. "Eleanor is still trying to figure out if it was a trick or a treat," he said.
*****
It is now Tuesday, and John Kerry is looking good today, while George Bush is looking a little desperate. His eyes are wild and his voice is shrill and he is acting more and more like a doomed animal on its way to the meat-grinder. Young George is about to lose his first election.
JFK will win this one decisively enough to make any recounts or challenges irrelevant. If Kerry wins New Hampshire and Pennsylvania and Florida, for instance, this election will be over before it really gets started.
Kerry will win big today. I guarantee it. The evil Bush family of central Texas is about to suffer another humiliating failure on another disastrous election day.
And I knew it Sunday after returning from Los Angeles, where I had been campaigning for Kerry, my friend. Football and politics were never so fatally linked as they were when the Washington Redskins lost to the Green Bay Packers that day. It was all over after that.
The sun has come up over the Rockies and the time has come to drive into town and vote aggressively for my man, who will win this election handily. And the Democrats will regain control of both houses of Congress. That is all I know right now, and all I need to know.
When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. We will march on a road of bones.
Mahalo.
Hunter S. Thompson
Johnny St. Clair wuz here at 9:28 PM
5 Comments:
i'm in a panic now...difficult to type. even hunter's words find me disconsolate. is the next stage the cage?
i'm going to look for sunshine in a bag and sleep with a shotgun under my pillow.
How the fuck you can sleep knowing that over half your countrymen are out to crucify you is beyond me. This whole thing is going into the shitcan in a big way. And for fucks sake man, you can't trust anyone. I swear, your people are all either religious supremisists, rich, stupid, or rasict. Probably some combination of the four. You'll all get what you asked for. And Johnny, you're first.
?WHO AM I? WHY AM I HERE??
bring it on motherfucker...i've been reading the raoul duke manual on home security.
i'm itchin' and it's not just the crabs!
~ iceberg johnny slim
You are a true american hero. The Duke manual ehh? A good place to start. What you need are chemicals man. And sweet fuck, do you need lot of them in these twisted times. Internal, and external. Ones to help you smote your enemies, and one to make you feel even better about it. It ain't the 60's anymore bro. I say, lets evolve. Let the chips fall where they may. We're moving towards a new "magic". The magic of science. Physics, chemistry, ballistics, and Dear God don't forget the self-medication. And this my friend, is where Col. Johnson, the good Dr, the benevolent and offensive supreme... whatever, comes in. Its my lifes work. And I'll be damned if some fuckin fuck-fuck is gonna intrude upon my turf. Stay tuned...
THE PAIN OF LOSING - Dr. Hunter S. Thompson [via mojo wire]
"The Summer is over
the harvest is in,
and we are not saved."
-- Jeremiah 8:20
Well, the election is over now, and I was pitifully wrong on my public prediction about the outcome. George W. Bush won handily; and my friend, John Kerry, lost by three percentage points -- which was every bit as big in a vicious presidential election as it was on the football field last night when the low-riding Indianapolis Colts kicked a last-second field goal to beat Minnesota 31-28.
That field goal was just as good for the Colts as if they'd won by three touchdowns. Three points is huge in a football game that goes down to the last snap of the ball on the last play of the game.
Unfortunately, I bet the Colts heavily to win by seven points -- and they only won by three -- so I was wrong again, and I paid a terrible price. First the presidency, then the point-spread on Monday night. Indeed. Gambling was not a happy experience for me last week.
But so what? I lost, but I am not a Loser. I have long understood that losing always comes with the territory when you wander into the gambling business, just as getting crippled for life is an acceptable risk in the linebacker business. They both are extremely violent sports, and pain is part of the bargain. Buy the ticket, take the ride. Mahalo.
Right after the Colts finally won last night, I called team owner Jim Irsay to congratulate him on his fine victory, even though he failed to make the spread.
"That was too close for comfort," I told him. "What's wrong with that kick-off coverage? It cost us 10 points last night; and if Randy Moss had been playing, forget about the Super Bowl."
Which is true. No team with the worst pass defense in the NFL has ever even been to a Super Bowl, much less win the game. That is a basic truth of Quantum Science in America ... And here is how it works in football situations.
The Indianapolis Colts are giving up almost 26 points a game so far, and that leakage is not likely to change a hell of a lot between now and Groundhog Day -- which indicates, by quantum extrapolation, that the Colts are a mathematical certainty not to go to the Super Bowl this year. They are doomed, because their defensive backfield leaks like a cheap rowboat -- especially against a big, mobile quarterback like the Vikes' Daunte Culpepper, who is bigger than any of the Colts' linebackers.
That is usually fatal in the NFL, where 300-pound people with three-percent body fat routinely run a 40-yard dash in less than five seconds. It's like having a vicious bull elephant that can run 40 miles an hour.
And so much for football wisdom, eh? Let's get back to the presidential election, which also caused enormous pain and grief to millions of people.
I am no stranger to the anguish of losing a presidential campaign, and this very narrow loss with John Kerry is no exception. It hurt, as always, but it didn't hurt as much as that horrible beating we took with George McGovern in 1972. That was by 22 points, the worst defeat in any presidential campaign since George Washington ran for a second term in 1787.
And the winner that year was a conquering hero named Richard Nixon, who got whacked out of office two years later because he was a crook. We had a very angry Democratic majority in the Senate that year, which is not the case now.
No. Today, the Panzer-like Bush machine controls all three branches of our federal government, the first time that has happened since Calvin Coolidge was in the White House. And that makes it just about impossible to mount any kind of Congressional investigation of a firmly-entrenched president like George Bush.
The time has come to get deeply into Football. It is the only thing we have left that ain't fixed. And more on that next week.
~ HST
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