cabman #4

“hello?”

“st. clair?”

“uh-huh.”

“that you?”

“who is this?”

“it’s the Doktor. listen. i need…”

“a lobotomy?”

“no.”

“a cock in your mouth?”

“no. i need…”

“you don’t want one?”

“no man, listen…”

“no cock in your mouth? come on. i’m not falling for this. without a cock in your mouth, there is no way this is the Doktor.”

“WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONE SINGLE, SOLITARY SECOND?”

i hung up on him. i don’t deserve to be talked to like that. and neither do you people. stand up for yourself. have some self-respect. choke a motherfucker.

the Doktor rang my phone again.

“yello.”

“are you going to be serious for one…”

“who is this?”

“what are you doing?”

“nothin’ man. i’m down at the Hilton, waiting on Preemo.”

“who?”

“Preemo.”

“awww for Christsakes…i thought that’s what you said. what are you waiting on him for?”

“i can’t really go into that right now.”

“why not?”

“it’s business.”

“business? with him?”

“not with him…for him…i don’t know. i’m driving for him.”

“you’re driving for him?”

“pretty much.”

“wonderful.”

“i don’t wanna get into it right now.”

“good. i don’t want you to. look, the reason i’m calling…”

“what is the reason you’re calling?”

“you’re an ape, you know that?”

“uh huh.”

“you’re an animal. there’s no talking to you. i call to ask one…”

“what’s up?”

“you still have that limo?”

“yeah.”

“think you can pick me and [deleted] up?”

“for what?”

“hey....that’s my business.”

“yeah sure.”

“great.”

“can i call her the Nurse?”

“why the fuck would you do that?”

“well, since you’re the Doktor, i just thought that…”

“try not to crash into anything on the way over. see ya around 8?”

“better make it 8:30. give me some time to wash up and take a bath because i’m kinda dirty.”