trying to walk like nothing's happening

“come on.”

“where are you going?”

“you don’t want to go in there.”

“will i get in trouble if i ask why and you tell me?”

“yes.”

“ok.”

“i started a fire in the bathroom. it won’t be long before the alarm and the sprinklers go off.”

“i didn’t want to know.”

“deep down, you did.”

“well…i’m going in anyway. i know who all’s up on the top floor.”

“who?”

“you know.”

“i wouldn’t even bother.”

“that’s because you have no taste.”

“no, no. i mean, you’re right. those bitches is nasty. but, like i said, the alarms…”

“what did you do that for anyway?”

“what do you mean? you love fire.”

“yeah, man. i love fire, you know. i mean, i love it. if someone else starts a fire, it’s kinda like…”

“like what?”

“like fire is cheating on me.”

“like fire is cheating on you. really.”

“it’s weird, i know.”

“like what? you stick your dick in fire? spoon it? what?”

“only when i’m lonely. besides…don’t talk about her like that.”

“her?”

“you coming up or what? what are they doing up there?”

“watching a movie.”

“which one?”

“fuck if i know.”

“i’m playing it totally smooth-like when i go in, too. watch.”

“watch what?”

“i’m gonna sit on the steps in the aisle, right by her seat, and i’ll be all, ‘hey…how’s it going?’”

“yeah, that’ll work.”

“and if she don’t wanna talk, then i’ll just fuck her friends.”

“you really wanna walk all the way up there? i thought the fire alarms would be going off by now.”

“where did you start it?”

“in the bathroom.”

“good job. garbage can?”

“naw…the toilet.”

“a stall?”

“no. the toilet. i lit a huge roll of toilet paper…”

“awesome.”

“…and i dropped it in the bowl.”

“…”

“what? what? don’t fuckin’…don’t fuckin’ look at me like that. it creeps me out.”

“fire and water go together like nuts and gum.”

“what?”

“they don’t mix, you asshole. what are you on?”

“i thought it would make a lot of smoke.”

“you sure they are up there?”

“pretty sure.”

“maybe i should go look for my ride. i can’t find it.”

“where did you park it?”

“a couple of streets back. but i was looking for it before and i couldn’t find it.”

“it’s stolen.”

“naw…you think?”

“i don’t think, man. i know. i just know.”