i think i know what it all means now

i knew there would be more than the few who sat languid
entangled on love seats
slouched forward slack jawed
shoulder to shoulder and leg in leg
offering a look up their skirts
blood dripping from the corners of their open mouths

the golden-gray light through the windows was fading
more like a fallen morning than an evening soon wasted
gathered round in this hollow room
these high ceilings
yellow wood
fake rubber plants
on the steps
my elbows leaden on my knees

a newer one came in through the front door
stark in the spilling glow
with a bag slung over his shoulder
shaking
honest
and got a gun up in his face before he was let inside

i remember thinking we are not quite safe here

ashamed
offended
i rush outside where the air’s so much sweeter
linger here awhile
killing time
walk to the corner store and be back on the way home
before the sun’s setting

over my shoulder the clouds boil blue and black
baring their teeth
and the night is falling faster than my footsteps

they are sprawling before me
like blood drops down arteries and avenues
the street bends and they are crawling
their callow way towards the door