on the record #2
drop what your doin’ because i'm about to ruin your record collection…that’s right, i said it. it had to be said…your record collection sucks anyway, what with all the dokken and savatage albums, but if you don’t own a record by the truckers, well, i'm not sure how to finish that without cursing. that’s right…and i think i'm letting you off easy when i said “a” [which means less than two]. so, right now, go out and get a truckers record.
i'll tell ya about the first one i stole.
the drive-by truckers - the dirty south
do you know who john henry was? how about carl perkins? no? mary alice? george a? manuel or danko? john wayne and the sands of iwo jima? don’t worry, the truckers will school ya. how about buford pusser? oh yeah, you know buford pusser. BA-YOO-FURD PUSS-HER, c’mon say it with me…buford pusser. that might just be the best name since johnny knoxville, or brock landers, or yail bloor, or turd ferguson. motherfuckin’ buford pusser.
buford pusser is the sheriff who spawned the legend of “walking tall.” and fuck buford pusser anyway, but goddamm if that name ain’t the tits. i love to say the name and the truckers got two – count ‘em – two tunes about buford. one of them starts off with patterson hood warbling about some dude caught “smokin’ grass.” that’s gangster, and goddamm it if from now on i ain’t calling it grass. no more weed, chit, michu acan, buds, dope…it’s nothing but grass, baby.
great, great lyrics that tell about “the duality of the southern thing,” through the eyes of some wild characters. something spoke to me…maybe it’s this chip i've carried about growing up unwealthy and white [trash]. not in any predictable way, like rebel flags and shit, but i guess that’s part of their thing too…the whole “duality of the southern thing,” which is kinda deep, man, especially if you’re smokin’ grass. you know, to be completely serious and completely full of shit at the same time.
so get this and immediately listen to “never gonna change,” at ear-bleed volume. but keep the blood off of the carpet, because if there is one thing i know about, it’s blood, and it’s a motherfucker to get off of any kind of fabric without leaving trace evidence behind that some smart-ass lawyer picks up on and tries to use to tie you to a homicide, but fuck it man, i was out of town that night…i was framed and i ain’t never goin’ back behind the wall…NEVER!
no doubt...best thing i got all year. “southern rock opera” and “decoration day” would be well worth your money and time, but not as worthy of your money as me. send it in sacks, please. i do, however, have an area of concern. my suggestions for improvement? band name. they would be huge – and so, so much more on the mark – if their name was the drive-by motherfuckers.
i'll tell ya about the first one i stole.
the drive-by truckers - the dirty south
do you know who john henry was? how about carl perkins? no? mary alice? george a? manuel or danko? john wayne and the sands of iwo jima? don’t worry, the truckers will school ya. how about buford pusser? oh yeah, you know buford pusser. BA-YOO-FURD PUSS-HER, c’mon say it with me…buford pusser. that might just be the best name since johnny knoxville, or brock landers, or yail bloor, or turd ferguson. motherfuckin’ buford pusser.
buford pusser is the sheriff who spawned the legend of “walking tall.” and fuck buford pusser anyway, but goddamm if that name ain’t the tits. i love to say the name and the truckers got two – count ‘em – two tunes about buford. one of them starts off with patterson hood warbling about some dude caught “smokin’ grass.” that’s gangster, and goddamm it if from now on i ain’t calling it grass. no more weed, chit, michu acan, buds, dope…it’s nothing but grass, baby.
great, great lyrics that tell about “the duality of the southern thing,” through the eyes of some wild characters. something spoke to me…maybe it’s this chip i've carried about growing up unwealthy and white [trash]. not in any predictable way, like rebel flags and shit, but i guess that’s part of their thing too…the whole “duality of the southern thing,” which is kinda deep, man, especially if you’re smokin’ grass. you know, to be completely serious and completely full of shit at the same time.
so get this and immediately listen to “never gonna change,” at ear-bleed volume. but keep the blood off of the carpet, because if there is one thing i know about, it’s blood, and it’s a motherfucker to get off of any kind of fabric without leaving trace evidence behind that some smart-ass lawyer picks up on and tries to use to tie you to a homicide, but fuck it man, i was out of town that night…i was framed and i ain’t never goin’ back behind the wall…NEVER!
no doubt...best thing i got all year. “southern rock opera” and “decoration day” would be well worth your money and time, but not as worthy of your money as me. send it in sacks, please. i do, however, have an area of concern. my suggestions for improvement? band name. they would be huge – and so, so much more on the mark – if their name was the drive-by motherfuckers.
Johnny St. Clair wuz here at 9:33 PM
4 Comments:
all this time and not one fuckin taker on the greatness that is the truckers?
you are a fuckawful lot
where's my crackpipe
~johnny
yo johnny you like that word yo
i told you dawg
its the bizzom
~ j-roc
"yo johnny you like that word"
j-roc...toss his salad too while you're at it
gay
~ chomper
post-script:
let us measure a band by the true yardstick of talent...how would they do in a fight?
the truckers will fuck up any band i can think of...except wu-tang might give 'em a fair one...and they would shit all over geddy lee...so there, fuck you too!
~ crackpipe johnny
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